WHAT'S the link between England and Everton, besides Philip Neville? Correct! Neither has a prayer when it comes to penalty shoot-outs. I can remember only two successes to Everton in more than 30 years, and one of those was in a European Cup tie against Borussia Munchengladbach on November 4 1970 (blessed day!) when Andy Rankin performed heroics. The other victory from the spot came fairly recently in the League Cup at Newcastle. The latest setback vanishes into pre-season anonymity and is of no great importance - although some of the refereeing decisions gave David Moyes an early opportunity to question officialdom. So at least someone was taking it seriously. Shearer won't fall for PR hogwash ALAN SHEARER is nobody's fool. And being bodyguard to Steve McClaren doesn't entice him. Shearer's contract with Match of the Day gave him the perfect get-out, and he'll be relieved about that. So far there are precious few takers for those bulletproof vests, though McClaren's PR guru Max Clifford continues to spin on his client's behalf, telling everyone who'll listen that the red-faced one had little or no say in Sven-Goran Eriksson's kingdom. I suggested some weeks ago that this would be McClaren's ploy, and lo it comes to pass that he accepts zero responsibility for England's past and present ills. And if you believe that, you'll also believe that Alex Ferguson could have perished without McClaren's astuteness, and that, contrary to the evidence of our own eyes, he produced outstandingly watchable teams at Middlesbrough. Spin on, Max. But don't expect anyone but the terminally gullible to swallow such indigestible hogwash. * MICHAEL CARRICK has always been an able player, right from his early days at West Ham. Yet when Tottenham signed him for £3.5m they weren't exactly killed in the rush for his services. But what a transformation in Carrick's fortunes. Two years on and hardly established in England's set-up, he finds himself an £18m replacement for the irreplaceable Roy Keane. Is Carrick worth that kind of money? Is he capable of turning Manchester United's weakest area into a Championship-winning midfield? You'd have to say not, but if it does come off, it wouldn't be the first time the knight of the shires has dumbfounded us. | 
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